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 Post subject: untwisting thoughts about caregivers driving...
PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 10:28 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:35 pm
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Ok....need to untwist here....having reactions to my caregiver's (M.) driving... I've been feeling very frustrated with how much she depends on me as a co-pilot. We've talked about this and I've explained that it is taxing for me to the point of sometimes being distressing in my health condition to do that, and that I don't want to be co-pilot.

She is a very supportive person in my life, she is an incredible advocate for me at doctor's appointments, she's been wtih me almost four years, she will do anything in her job description to help me, she definitely "gets" what my condition is like........but I have my panties all in a wad over this driving issue!!!!!!!!!!

OK, untwisting...

M. doesn't care about me. She doesn't care about my suffering and she doesnt respect me.

Emotional thinking. M. has demonstrated her understanding and empathy to my suffering many times.

M. thinks I should just try harder, just buck up, she thinks my suffering is not real.

Emot. thinking. M. has never once said anything of that sort. Ever. Not even hinted it. It just cant be true. Many many many times she has supported how difficult things are for me. She has never once said anyting like, Well you did it before, you can do it now. Nothing like How hard can it be?! Nothing like Well I dont care if you are suffering, Im suffering too. Nothing like that.

Why the BLEEP does she still do this then?!!!

I don't know. But it's probably not personal.

Thinking that it's personal is the thinking flaw called personalization, meaning thinking that behavior is caused by us. Ok, even if part of it were personal, that doesnt mean that all of it is.

She's punishing me.

Personalization. Maybe my mom punished me that way. That doenst mean that M. is. Maybe I'm punishing me more now than M. is.

She's punishing me subconsciously even if it's not conscious.

Mindreading. Jumping to conclusions. Personalization.

I shoud be punished because I'm spoiled and don't just buck up.

(snickering a little here)....Boy that's pretty twisted. It still feels sorta true, but it sounds pretty twisted to write it. Should thinking. Emot. reasoning. (just because i feel ashamed doesnt mean ive done anything wrong. Right now it is difficult for me to be co-pilot and my requests are reasonable.)

Going to take a break on this for a bit.


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