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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:11 am 
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Keekster, can you find ways to challenge those negative assumptions and turn them into positive ways of thinking?

Sometimes, for me, just writing it all out even before I feel it through and through can help facilitate the process of recovering from these types of thinking. :)

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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:04 pm 
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So insightful you are Harmonium. I will put your suggestions into play next time I "go there", if you know what I mean jellybean?

Sometimes I just need another voice to tell me what I already know to make it stick, or to remember to practice it on all levels. Thanks again!


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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 8:54 am 
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Thanks for your kind words. :)

Other people reminding me when I can further a process is one reason I love this board. Whenever you are ready to 'go there' we'll be here for you!

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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 2:58 pm 
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I took a STEPPS class last year, and we spent a lot of work working on challenging distortions and negative ideas and thoughts. We were presented with negative ideas much similar to the ones in this post, and we had to take time to write positive ones. I didn't realize how hard that was going to be for me, but it was a great exercise. Now that I've come up with them, it's good to know I have them inside and I'm capable of utilizing them, because for a long time (and sometimes now) I feel like I can't get away from these negative assumptions, that somehow, deep down, they could be true.


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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:13 am 
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What is a STEPPS class?


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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:34 am 
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STEPPS is a group treatment programme for BPD. There's some info about it here:
http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/medi ... index.html

I haven't done STEPPS personally, but I have a friend who speaks very highly of it. :)

Lirael

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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:45 pm 
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Wow, I think I may still think all of these...and I thought I was doing better. I think I've just gotten better at suppressing my "crazy" tendencies in an effort to hide how I really am from friends. I'll try to make some positive affirmations based on these negative assumptions...

1. I will always be alone.
While I may be physically alone at times, I will always have my daughter and good friends who care about me and are thinking about me.

2. There is no one who really cares about me, who will be available to help me, and whom I can fall back on.
I need to allow my friends and family to care about me and let them help me when I need it. Friends have repeatedly told me that are there for me when I need them.

3. If others really get to know me, they will find me rejectable and will not be able to love me; and they will leave me.
Some people may not love me, that is true of anyone. That is NOT true of everyone. I have let people get to know me in the past and they still love me.

4. I can't manage by myself, I need someone I can fall back on.
This is a hard one because I DON'T manage by myself right now and the only time I did was for a very short period of time. My mom pays my rent and helps me financially any time something comes up. If it were not for her, I'd probably be living in a very bad place or on the street. I know a prime reason I am looking for a partner is so I can stop being a burden on my mom and can have someone who can potentially take care of me, because so far I am unable to do so for myself.

5. I have to adapt my needs to other people's wishes, otherwise they will leave me or attack me.
I often told my ex that I've lived my life and now all I want to do is be a good mom and raise my daughter, so whatever his goals and wishes are, I would follow and support him. I'm not sure if that is what this statement means, but I was not always that way. It's something new that's developed and I'm not sure it's bad. I don't really have any goals (besides being a good mom) and for now, wouldn't mind just being a supportive partner to someone else who does have more goals.

6. I have no control of myself.
Right now my thinking is more along the lines of, "I don't always have control of myself." I used to feel completely out of control. I would often tell my mom when I was a kid that it felt like I was possessed and something took over me that I couldn't control when I would get very angry or depressed. Now, I think I remain in control about 80% of the time, but when I do lose control, everyone better watch out. I don't do it halfway.

8. I don't really know what I want.
If I listen to my heart, it will tell me what I want and need. That want may change over time and that's okay too.

11. If someone fails to keep a promise, that person can no longer be trusted.
If a person who loves and cares about me fails to keep a promise, they had good reason to not be able to keep it. They did not do it to hurt me and they can still be trusted.

12. I will never get what I want.
I will sometimes get what I want. No one always gets what they want.

13. If I trust someone, I run a great risk of getting hurt or disappointed.
I will get much more out of a friendship or relationship if I trust the person than if I don't.

17. Other people are evil and abuse you.
Some evil people exist, but my loved ones are not abusive.

19. If other people really get to know me they will find me rejectable.
Many people enjoy being around me, find me intelligent and fun and even after getting to know me better, still want to be around me.


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 Post subject: Re: 20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:10 pm 
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I still suffer from all 20 negative assumptions. I am only 19 years old and have been diagnosed with BPD. I am in dialectical behavioral therapy though and will hopefully be recovered soon!


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