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 Post subject: More need to untwist!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:46 am 
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Ok letter arrives today detailing a meeting I was unable to attend re my children due to the sickness of one of my children. Lots of complaints, well not as much complaints but concerns were raised all of which taken in isolation as an ongoing thing, would definatley be. Thing is can accept the kids have been tired they managed to catch between them most of the seasonal winter illnesses which account for time off of school etc.

I am a tad perturbed that my youngest is decribed as scatty and my eldest as being overly competitive, but feel little need to analyse this under the circumstances.

Thing is back come the messages of bad parent. Well am I? I can speak to no one about any of this until Monday so I guess I have to avoid twisting this all up and jumping to conclusions. Why do they have analyse every move my kids make just because I have a personality disorder. It all seems a tad unfair right now. I went looking in there for any positive comments of which there are none, at all.

Thing is I need to be in a place where I take a very non borderline view of this, and right now I am feeling my borderline reactions in full thrust. They are my children damn it.

I know this is not a place to get parenting advice, I know my thinking is being very twisted up and my gut reactions are on the defense. I need to somehow put this down to a lovely gossiping session that has been forwarded to me, as I was not present in the meeting to see what exactly was said and how, nor given a chance to explain that my children have actually been physically unwell.

I need to move past this current thinking pattern of not being good enough or trying hard enough as up until this morning it was one area of my life I was so proud of, my parenting capacity.

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Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.-Washington Irving


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:55 am 
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Argh just worked through this and lost the post! Its ok I will go and get a cup of tea and come back.

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Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.-Washington Irving


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:18 am 
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Ok what distortions are taking place.

Well I see some All-or-nothing thinking, definately this is stuck in a mental filter, I see fortune telling- some negative comments leading to I will lose my children or they will be removed. Magnification-it is the first one sided report I have ever gotten.

Sure lots of personalisation and blame.

Ok how to solve this problem.

I will need to wait until Monday and make a few phone calls, to find out what implications this report has.

They are suggesting a written agreement in light of the concerns raised, but as yet I have not received that nor has this been discussed with me. So I can chase this up.

I am pretty used to the way these people work now, and how they like to hang on negatives and discount positives for me, very unhelpful to be honest.

So I will practice til then some distress tolerance, enjoy my children and accept that they are on occasion scatty and competitive and take their advice as to how to remedy this. If that means a written agreement I can cope, doubt it says much I don't do anyway.

I am also going to accept that some of this could be issues within the school environment as I do not witness most of this on a problematic scale.

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Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.-Washington Irving


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