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 Post subject: can I do this without fucking it up as well???
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:38 pm 
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I have some twisting going on. I worked through a situation in a thread but, in doing so created more "drama." Whilst I initialy thought/felt I did a good job of sorting through my original problem, all of that was negated by the fact that I screwed it up in another way. I've been feeling pretty bad about that. I have such high standards for myself. I know this is a result of confusing childhood messages - "Do it this way. Be like this. Act this way. Feel this way. Don't do this. DOn't do that." So, I do my damndest to do/not do whatever it is that is asked of me, only to be told that I still got it wrong. As a result of this I've been known to set myself too high standards, goals that I can't ever achieve - perfection, and when I fall even a little bit short, I see it as a total failure. I am a total failure.

In my post I have used:

1. All or nothing thinking - A situation falling short of perfect, so seeing it as a total failure

3. Mental filter - Dwelling on the negative.

4. Discounting the positive because I didn't do a perfect job.

7. Emotional reasoning - I feel bad, therefore I must be bad or have done a bad thing.

9. Labeling - I made a mistake = I am a failure. I feel bad therefore I must be a bad person.

UNTWISTING:

I did do a good job of sorting out my initial problem. I felt better having done so. Just because I later found out I made a mistake in the way I dealt with it, doesn't negate the earlier good work that I did. I did do a good job, but I could have done it in a more effective (less pot-stirring)way. I am human. I made a mistake. I'm not a bad person or a failure.

So now what? I've untwisted it all? I still feel bad.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:11 pm 
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Geez, Amanda. A bit hard in judging yourself perhaps? Without wanting to invalidate your pain I must say Ive seen your work of the past few weeks rather diffèrently. Duly diligent. Pushing your own limits. Pure recovery focus. I say your work has been quite effective.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:59 pm 
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Nice of you to say so, but one of the 4 agreements comes to mind about not taking stuff personally. I guess Ireally have to believe that I'm doing well and at the moment that's not what I believe. :/


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