This IS great work Ibcgal!!
It sounds like you are finding out who you are in many ways (where your own boundaries lay maybe?) and learning to trust yourself. That's a really big part of all this, IMO.
As your self-esteem grows, all these recovery tools seem to come into play (at least for me!) and things just get better and better overall. Keep up the good work--I'm really impressed with some of your posts lately fwiw, this one included. I'm happy for you that things are falling into place. I know it's difficult at times, but it gets easier as your own confidence grows.