Hiya Pip!!! Good to "see" you again!
Wow, geez... you have a lot going on right now, huh?
I think it is great that you are able to sit back and try to radically accept all these difficult emotions and situations in your life. Can I also suggest that you read Trinity's sticky at the top of this forum called "The Radical Acceptance of Everything" and some of the links there - such as this one from DBT Self Help:
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/part_14.htmlRadical acceptance is hard, and I think a lot of the time we feel we have accepted something because we convince ourselves that we are okay with whatever is causing us stress, but to radically accept it goes beyond just feeling at ease with something - it means not trying to change it at all and letting go of any hope that the situation can or will change. Kind of scary stuff if you ask me!
A few things from your post:
BPDpip5 wrote:
Radical acceptance is an incredibly difficult concept for me and so here I am again, trying to radically accept.
I feel sad. I'n not really sure why. I accept that I feel sad and I accept that I don't have to like the fact I feel sad. There's been a lot going on in my life. Chris has been e-mailing me and texting me and IMing me again. I radically accept that when he does that I feel discombulated. I radically accept that Chris and I are not going to work out and I radically accept that I want us to work out so much it physically hurts. I accept that he is different than me. Although he admits he made a huge mistake cheating on me and breaking up with me, I also accept that he hasn't stepped up to the plate to resolve his underlying issue so we can be together. I accept that he is in perpetual victim mode and there is nothing I can do or say that is going to change that. I accept that I am so incredibly unhappy about that.
First of all, have you tried telling Chris not to contact you? If it makes you sad to hear from him and sets you back in your efforts to move on with your life, perhaps it is better to not have any contact with him at all. Right?
Quote:
I accept that my dream of us getting married and having a family is dead and I accept that I would give anything for that dream not to be over, but that it is.
If you would "give anything for that dream not to be over," you are not radically accepting that it is over
Quote:
I accept that once again I am alone, trying to forge towards the future and trying to make my life better. I accept that I am impatient about that, and that I am terrified. I accept that I am frustrated that I don't feel like I am where I should be in life and I accept that the words "should be in life" is probably a wacked perception.
Good realizations! So what can you do to make yourself feel better about being alone? Can you accept that you are exactly where you should be right now and that as long as you keep working toward a goal, your life will become whatever you want it to be?
Quote:
With my friend Jeff - I accept the fact that he likes me and I unintentionally hurt him. I accept that there was some denial and selfishness on my part - wanting him to just be my friend but also kind of liking the snuggling even though I knew it was the act of snuggling and not the person that I liked.
Wow another great realization! That it was more the snuggling that you liked and not so much the person. You need to be honest with him. Are you planning on telling him your real feelings? Are you prepared to lose the snuggling partner for the sake of not hurting his feelings anymore?
Quote:
I radically accept that I feel awful in this moment and I accept and know that feelings are temporary and this will pass.
That is great - you don't always have to act on your emotions or judge them. Just observe them.
Good luck, Pip. I think it is great that you are trying out the tools!
-NAM