You're totally right-- it is NOT your fault you have this disorder. But in reading your post, I'm reminded of something that might (or might not) help you:
Quote:
We are not responsible for how we came to be who we are as adults.
But as adults we are responsible for whom we have become and for everything we say and do.
We may not be responsible for having this in the first place, but as adults we ARE most certainly responsible for how we handle ourselves. Having BPD is not an excuse. I don't think that's what you were getting at in your post, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Congrats on the RA! I always love it when these things just 'click'.
![:biggrin](./images/smilies/biggrin.gif)