theresa92 wrote:
Hi, thanks for responding! And yes I did make it through the night. The funny thing is, is that earlier I was feeling great. In fact, I was laughing. Sometimes I think that I have bipolar. Do you ever have that feeling that sometimes you're so depressed that you want to die and other time you feel on top of the word? I don't think bipolar fits me though. I think it's more of the borderline personality disorder. Also, do you feel like you want a relationship with other people but for some reason you don't go out and see that relationship, even when you are given the oppurtunity? I'd love to know that I'm not the only one like this.
Hi,
Glad to hear you made it through the night.
I relate a lot to the things you describe.
Both the highs and lows, and the rapid mood changes that come out of nowhere and are hard to control.
The attention seeking/dramatic behavior and so on.
As for relationships - it is just my opinion - I believe that in order to form a healthy relationship - that is togetherness with someone - one has to first learn how to deal with being alone.
So maybe your natural self tells you you are not yet ready to pursue a relationship with someone - as you first need to learn how to maintain your independence - emotionally, mentally - your stability.
Only then you can - as a healthy woman, seek a healthy man to share life or a relationship with.
Also - as far as I understood you are 18 - so maybe you really are not yet ready for a rsp - so you naturally fear it, thought you may already want it - which is like "not a girl not yet a woman" stage (kind of unstable/shaky) in itself (regardless of what you are going through).
When you want a relationship - do you want a partner to fill your needs and complete you, or do you just want someone to have good time with, share love, etc?
If you seek a partner to diffuse loneliness you might find yourself lonely and abused in a bad rsp.
In a real rsp there are moments where you are alone and your partner is also going through some stuff and just can't be there for you 100% - do you believe you can cope with such a situation today?
*hugs* and keep on writing if ever you feel like you need to talk or whatever