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 Post subject: Triggers Galore!!
PostPosted: Sat May 14, 2011 8:33 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 10
My Son's 6th Birthday party, and we all got through it un- scathed! There were triggers ABOUND!
1. Wind blowing tablecloth's, trash...etc.
2. Rain
3. That Mom (in my head) is judging me harshly.
4. My In-Laws
5. My own Mother decides to not come to the party, but come to.my house afterwards.
6. Nasty, un-bathed, some pajama wearing people just feet from our party.

What did I do?
1. The wind pissed me off. But I dealt with it. Perfectly? No.
2. I moved the tables under the gazebo.
3. I said, "She's not thinking bad things, and if she is? It's not my problem."
4. I just let snide comments go. And actually enjoyed my Father in Laws company! MIL, well, that's her deal. Why get mad at DH? It's not his fault!
5. I was bombarded with triggers. I couldn't deal with that. I texted her, "Not today" And told myself, if she can't come to the designated party time, too bad. I'm done for the day.
6. That's my stringent judgmental side. Were they perfect? No. Am I? -.No.
But I still have an issue with number 6. They were,no doubt,trashy. But I bet the wife is kinder to her family than I am behind closed doors...... so, do I judge on what they do? On how they appear and speak? Or not at all.


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 Post subject: Re: Triggers Galore!!
PostPosted: Sat May 14, 2011 8:54 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 5:57 pm
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And, I didn't add the biggest of all.
(because, honesty is difficult for me)
After the successful party, (without a breakdown) my DH wants to have sex. (which I brought up last night)
* First, a bit of history. 2 weeks ago tomorrow, I raged to the point, of breaking valuables, and clawing DH' s face.

7 days later (last weekend) he took our 3 kids
out if town for the weekend to visit his psychologist friend, and get away. (I was invited, as well, but they know too much.)


DK, now, day 13.
Do I want to have sex? Hell Yes!
Are we (after 10 years of this) in a place where we.should? No
Would it be satisfying? Most likely. But short lived.
Would it be good for our family? No


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 Post subject: Re: Triggers Galore!!
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2011 6:28 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 10
The term I chose to use of "Trashy" , was quite judgey. I am too judgmental of people around me. I'm working on this.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.


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 Post subject: Re: Triggers Galore!!
PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2011 8:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:04 pm
Posts: 137
This is all so new to you that perhaps just thinking about your basic humanity would be good. We are all works in progress here. I think that you took a lot of positive action and you deserve credit for it. The stuff that you thought you could be better on will improve because every day there are learning and growing opportunities.


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