BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Gosh! I've been so positive for the last week that I think I have to move in here! I've already cleaned my kitchen this morning after making a "to die for" Greek salad for dinner last night! I'm not thrilled about having to do my laundry today but I'll feel better once it's done!

The sun is shining through my balcony doors onto my African Grey's cage. He's soaking up the rays and babbling about what a good good boy he is! LOL! He's the best boy in the world!

I'm going to call a few friends from out of town today. I might watch "Happy Gilmore" today, too. Adam Sandler! What a hilarious movie!

I'm off to do that laundry before my motivation goes down the drain!

Luna

Wow! You're on a roll! Good for you. I always feel better when I get the laundry done too....hate to see it building to an "incredible hulk." size.

It was there! A big mound after coming out of the hospital. It's all done now. I just have to put it away. Taking a little break in between before doing that!

I called Daryl and Eli won everybody's money last night! LOL! He can bluff like nobody's business! I would call Eli but the boy never answers his darn phone. I'm forever leaving him messages that he doesn't return. Teenagers!

My chest pain isn't as severe today as it has been. I can breathe easy.

Tonight is mixed bean salad night! Mmmmmmm!

What are you doing today?

Luna

Yep, teenagers! They are a rare breed.ha,ha...

I'm glad your pain is better....could you have pulled a muscle....some times pain radiates, and it's hard to figure out where it actually started. I've had terrible pain just from coughing hard with a respiratory infection.

I can relate to pain from coughing. Three months ago I broke four ribs while coughing. Makes me want to get a bone density test. That should never have happened. There is a chance I pulled something in my chest. I was thinking it was an infection or CANCER! Talk about catastrophizing!

I just left Eli a message. His machine message says he'll call back if you leave him a message so I told him I loved him and then gave him hell for not calling me back when I call him! LOL! I wonder if I'll hear from him today!

I'm going to make some soup for lunch and then put my laundry away. Talk soon!

Luna,

Yep...got to watch that tendency to catastrophizing.ha,ha...I do that too, and it can be hard to stop. I'll bet Eli does call you today, especially after giving him hell, ha,ha....he sounds like a sweetheart.

dagwood

You go, girl! Yeah, it sounds cliche - especially from me but still, you're doing great. I wish I'd had some of that salad. I love Greek salad. The feta and the olives with the tomato and onions. Yum!

dagwood,

Haven't heard from the little imp yet! He's gonna get it next Family Dinner Night! I'm his Mama! I won't stand for this! Okay! He just called! LOL! I love him so much! That made my day!

I'm off to make bean salad for dinner!

Talk later!

Luna

Hey Ash! I really AM doing great! Eating right, no more drinking, got some new clothes, touching base with all my loved ones, planning to make friends at the Clubhouse! I'm leaving the apartment without fear! I've really made a 180 degree flip. I'm having Greek salad again next week! Too, too yummy!

I wish I had company tonight. I really do think I'll move to Woodstock where my brother lives when my lease is up. He knows tons of nice people and would hang out with me whenever I wanted. I would have my alone time but I wouldn't have to be lonely when I didn't want to be.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, but still so happy that you're doing better! Maybe a move would be a nice change to look forward to?

Luna,

I haven't heard anyone use the words " little imp" since my mother called me that when I was a kid....brought back some good memories.

dagwood

Thanks, Mask.

I'm hoping I can make enough friends here through the Clubhouse and Friends and Advocates to stay here. I like my apartment. If not, though, I'll definitely be moving on to be with my brother.

Hey dagwood,

Glad I could bring you back a happy memory. Eli only called last night because I emailed Daryl and asked him to give Eli "proper hell" for not calling back and told him to tell Eli to pick up the damn phone and call his mother! LOL! Still, it was a nice conversation.

I'm enjoying my morning coffee now and looking forward to a good day.

Luna

I've just thought of a gizmo I've been using for years called a sound machine....they are really neat....have different sounds from nature like ocean, babbling brook, rain, forest sounds. Maybe that would be something to soothe your moods a bit.

dagwood

I like to listen to my parrots talk and make their sweet little sounds. I've thought of getting a relaxation CD but the ones I've heard don't appeal to me. A sound machine sounds great, though. I just want sounds...not violin music in the background.

What's up with you today?

Luna

Oh yeah, I bet the parrots do keep you amused, ha,ha....always wanted one....had two parakeets once. They are fun. Yep, ha,ha,...definitely no violin music.....just wonderful sounds of nature. Could you grow flowers in pots on your balacony? I love watching plants grow, and taking care of them.

dagwood

I'm absolutely FABULOUS at killing flowers! LOL! I don't kid myself when it comes to plants anymore. I have a black thumb.

I finally took out my garbage! The darn lid wasn't closing anymore and I didn't have the motivation to get it out until this morning! I need to clean the kitchen, too. Will do that later.

I just finished chatting with my brother on facebook. He's really busy looking for jobs and going to seminars and stuff. He has a really bad cold, too.

Not much for me to do today. I might go for a walk. Can't wait for tomorrow when I see my Case Worker!

I'm glad you got the garbage out.....sometimes it's the little mundane things that give a feeling of accomplishment....at least for me they do, the more I can do for myself the better I feel.

Perhaps you could get some pots with plants already in them....it's really just a matter of watering enough and providing the right amount of light. I've recently started planting seeds in pots, and most are coming up.....am looking forward to the flowers that will be produced. It will be a surpise as I can't remember which seeds I've planted in which pots, ha,ha.

I hope your brother has some good luck with the job hunt....I know that can be a challenge.....to say the least. I'm so glad you've got your brothers....family is so important.

dagwood

Nothing much up for me today....looks like the summer heat has arrived...end of April can quite often be the beginning. I try to just stay inside as much as possible to stay cool. Just got in from watering my posies.

For whatever it's worth, I'd love to trade places with you for the day. I don't want to be at work, around people, talking to people, doing things with and for people. I'd love a day to myself, to curl up with a good book and a great glass of iced tea, wander around my house, doing things or not doing them as the mood fit.

I know that day-after-day-after-day it can get monotonous or tedious. Yet, perhaps I'm enough of an introvert to be unfazed by the aloneness. I dunno.

There was a work training session thing we did a few years back based on the Myers-Briggs personality indicator test and, unsurprisingly, I came out as an introvert. (INTJ, I believe.) And as part of the discussion, they played a clip of Monica from friends where she felt bummed without people around but was all kinds of animated when people were there. That was a classic extrovert. The instructor said that the extrovert gains energy from being around people whereas the introvert is drained of energy by being around people. I'm definitely an introvert and I wonder if you're an extrovert.

I'm an extrovert, for sure. Before Daryl left me, he and Eli were enough company for me. Now I have no one. I need somebody. Not all the time but for a little while every day.

I'd be too overwhelmed to live a day in your life! You amaze me!

After the last family reunion (three days of 100+ of us), I was in the car with my dad the day after the festivities ended and he said "Oh my goodness, I'm still so pumped-up!" and I was sitting there thinking "Oh my gawd, can I please go crawl in a dark hole by myself now??"

Most days, I sit at my desk with my earbuds in listening to the same 300 songs from the 80s over and over again to avoid getting input from all these people around me. And yet there are other days when I love getting up & walking around, doing things away from my desk. And even on those extroverted-type days, I still start the day wishing I could just stay in bed with my dog & my TV remote!

Sounds like you're doing pretty well, Luna! Glad to hear it!

I'm pretty much an introvert too. I've taken the Myers-Briggs twice. Once I was so seriously depressed at the time that I measured higher on the introversion scale than the facilitator had ever seen. The other time, I was still clearly an introvert but less significantly. It so depends on the situation. Sometimes I'm wanting to hide when I'm out in public, and other times I can be more assertive. And it can change from minute to minute.

Hi Sari,

I envy introverts right now because I really don't have anyone. I don't want or need big crowds of people. Just one will do. I don't like the crowds at the grocery store. It's hard for me to be assertive in big crowds, too.

My arthritis is better today but I injured my back while coughing last night. I can barely walk and didn't sleep a wink last night. I'm going to limp over to the coffee shop for 10:30 to see my Case Worker and then go to the hospital to have my back looked at. I think it's muscular. Percocet and Naproxin have had no effect on the pain. I'm really tired of my body being as much my enemy as my mind. I want to make a trip to that Clubhouse and see what it's all about but I'll have to wait until either the pain goes away or I have proper pain control. I hope they can help me at the hospital. When I broke four ribs from coughing three months ago, they did nothing for me. I wonder if it's even worth it to go. I have to try, though. I can hardly move right now.

Daryl called me last night about separation and how we should push our lawyers to get to it so the funds from the house can be released and I can finally get a car. I can't wait to get a car. FREEDOM! Daryl and his friend, Greg, are going to help me find a good used one.

I've also decided that I'm making the trip to my brother Brian's on the last week of May and returning home June 1st. We're both really excited! He doesn't have internet so I'll be MIA that week. I'll be able to see my nephew and meet my grand nephews and grand niece for the first time!

I have things to look forward to. I can't let all the stupid pain make me backslide. Thanks for the encouragement, Sari!

Luna

I've found that as I'v gotten older, I've become more outgoing.....probably not exactly an extrovert, but definitely not the "hard core" introvert of years past.
I have much more self-confidence now, and I think that's helped considerably.

dagwood

That's wonderful, dagwood.

I'm slowly becoming more self confident. Before my last suicide attempt, I couldn't leave the apartment without fear. Now I can go out and feel comfortable...not confident...but comfortable and it's quite a joy! An entirely new feeling! I don't make excuses not to go out anymore. I look forward to it!

Luna