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I had an argument with my boyfriend yesterday. Some of my friends showed up a few hours later, to pregame before trivia at the bar, and they brought whiskey.

I wasn't planning on drinking because I know I have a tendency to binge when negative things are happening in my life, but when I was surprised with free alcohol, I found myself taking one shot right after the other on an empty stomach.

I made it to bed at the end of the night okay... and then woke up mid-vomit. The most concerning thing (this may be a little TMI) is that there was a lot of dark coffee-ground like stuff... which I've read is dry blood.

Now, not only did I spend all day cleaning up my own mess, I feel horrible. I made things worse with my boyfriend by calling him and crying late at night. I don't know what is going to happen with us, and now I'm very worried about my health.

Oh Mask! {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

You're not alone; I did this on New Year's Eve after some terrible messages from my partners ex. I binged and passed out, it was pretty awful

You can't dwell on what you did or didn't do that night.

By all means, go to a doctor and get checked if you have concerns for your health.

Don't assume anything about your health or your relationship.

Have you tried talking to your boyfriend since?

Not yet. We both were busy at kind of opposite times today... and when he texted me back saying he was free to talk, I had fallen asleep. x.x

How are you feeling now?

I hope you're not beating yourself up over this anymore - I am trying to remember when I make a mistake that I'm only human and I'm not going to get it right 100% of the time. I may Do or say bad things without thinking but it doesn't make me a bad person just like it doesn't make you a bad person!

Hang in there and big hugs. Let me know how it goes x

After playing phone tag for a while, we finally got the chance to talk... and it seems like we've got everything back together.

As for my health, well, I didn't go to the doctor's today like I should have... My fear of the doctor's office is really getting out of hand.

On the positive side, I started listening to an audio book on The Four Agreements. I'm finding it to be a helpful perspective so far.

Mask,

Are you still living with your parents....and are they aware of what happened?

I can't tell you how many times this happened to me after over inbibing....are you doing this often? Hope you're not planning on drinking for a long time....give your body a chance to recuperate.

Are you having any luck in finding a therapist or a job?

dagwood

I'm still living with my parents, still unemployed, and still not in therapy. When I say it that way, I feel really awful about myself.

I got a job with a temp agency before Christmas, so I'm -technically- employed, but there had been several times where I would call them, speak directly to someone, and then they would treat me like I never called! I would call in, saying I was sick and wanted to come in on an alternate day, and they would call back the next morning asking me why I skipped the appointment. After a manager had spoken directly to me.

Or, I would call and set up an appointment, call to double check, and they would insist that I never called and set anything up, and then try to meet with me a week later... and still no work through them, a whole month in. So I've been looking at local ads again, trying to find something else...

I emailed my mom about what happened, and she said that she would take me to the doctor's if I don't feel comfortable driving.

Over-imbibing is something that I have done several times over the past few years... I'm aware of it and try to keep it in check. The last time I drank to such an excess was some point this past summer. I don't really drink very often for a young adult, maybe once every week or two, it's just that I have a hard time stopping myself... particularly when the opportunity was sprung on me, and I didn't have the time to mentally prepare myself/put up boundaries and say "You're in a really bad mood, and you need to be sure to take it slow tonight, or you will regret it."

Sounds like the temp agency doesn't have very good lines of communication with their clients. I used to work for Kelly Girls....don't know whether they exist any more.

Yep, that spur of the moment kind of thing...you get "pumped up" a bit anticipating a good time and then POW!!...you end up feeling awful. I'm wincing thinking about how you must feel. Have you been able to eat anything yet....I realize this might a silly question....but just some milk maybe to soothe the discomfort a bit.

dagwood

I have been keeping food down alright, but I do feel a bit sick to my stomach still.

Mask,

Feeling better?

Yes, much better.

I'm glad!