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 Post subject: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:10 pm 
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I've just been accused of ripping him off. Recently he paid for me to go through my Liquor control course and paid for my general managers application (which I got.) I have been acting -as duty manager for about 5 months or so. I've only had the ticket (legally to be a duty manager) for 2 months. Whilst I was in training mode, I did not ask for a pay packet appropriate to the job. I appreciated being sent on the course and saw my working for less as payback of sorts for his generosity.

I was offered an interview with an opposition supermarket earlier this week. I was basically head-hunted and I thought why not go along and see what's on offer. I liked what I saw. I was keen on the job. The working environment and conditions appealed to me. I haven't been offered the job (and most probably won't get it because I have a wrist injury pending surgery in the next month or so and will be in cast for 6-8 weeks after the fact. But hey I gave it a shot. it's more than what I would have done 12- months ago) The owner's husband has just passed away at the weekend and she makes the final decision which won't be until later next week.

So all of sudden, I'm being accused of ripping him off, getting my ticket that he paid for and leaving him a month later high and dry. He got really aggro on the phone and I got off feeling really upset.

It reminds me of situation when I ask him is he selling the business? and he says "no, but if a good offer comes my way, I will take it." I'm in the same boat. I wasn't in the market for a new job. Opportunity came a knocking and I went to check it out. I see something better than what I'm currently getting and I express an interest. I'm sorry, if anybody sees personal growth as "ripping somebody off" I have trouble with that. This wasn't something I pre-planned. It just happened.

I'm actually feeling quite upset, because not only did he attack me on the phone, he made threats towards my husband too. Do I really want to work for somebody like that? I'm seriously considering resigning regardless of whether I get the new job. Really I am, and my husband says "too hasty, slow down" and he's right, I should.

Any thoughts? I've got to go to work now but will get back to this, this evening.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:59 pm 
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How did your boss know that you had a job interview with another potential employer? Can you wait to make a decision about your current job until you hear about whether or not you will be offered the other job? Does your boss have a tendency to fly off the handle and then regret it later or was he being honest in his communication with you?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:05 am 
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Denim, just letting you know that I'm taking a long break from this board and I probably won't get back to this. I'm not ignoring you, just chosing to bow out gracefully.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:31 am 
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I am disappointed that you feel you need to take a break but I understand since I have had to do the same thing in the past. I trust that you know what to do in order to take the best care of yourself right now.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:18 am 
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I know you're taking a break but hopefully this will be of some help when you decide to come back.

Your current boss sounds like an emotional child. He's throwing a temper tantrum because he's taking your interview with the other market personally. You're abandoning him and that hurts so he's going to hurt you back so you know how he feels.

As you pointed out, you've acted on the philosophy he's been espousing -- if something good comes along, I'll jump on it. You're simply following the example he's given and now he doesn't like the taste of his own medicine. (Also pretty childish, IMO.)

On to the practical matters of the surgery and income ...

If the NZ economy is anything like the US one, it can be pretty difficult to find a new, comparable-pay job, let alone a better one. You got your certification and you haven't been offered a new job. You have a surgery coming up and that would put you in a precarious position - to be unemployed, with a cast on, applying for a job.

I have, in the past, quit a few jobs that were morally repugnant to me. "This place is reprehensible! I deserve to be treated better than this! I trust the universe to provide for me, I quit!"

I think you know I've been fairly unhappy at my current employer from time to time and yet despite intense, desperate cravings to quit & trust the universe, I've stuck it out. And I've stuck it out long enough now that things are starting to improve a bit. Detaching from the way I've been treated and 'abused' (by clients, managers, coworkers), by not taking it personally, by focusing on doing my best, keeping a roof over our heads, paying the bills, I'm much less miserable and less cranky about working for & with people I don't respect.

If I had quit four years ago when I wanted to, I don't know that I'd have my PHR certification. I don't know that I would have increased my base pay as much as I have. (Smaller companies have less red tape but are less likely to hand out raises/promotions because of their size.)

I can't truly know "what might have been" but I do feel somewhat-proud of myself for rising above difficult situations and people, staying focused on what's important to me (paycheck, benefits!) and continuing to do my best.

I don't know if it helps you to reframe your boss's antics in the light of a spoiled, petulant child who's lashing out or not but I would hope it helps take the sting out of the personal aspect. He may not be mean to you because he truly loathes you & wants to personally hurt you.

He may be more pathetic & sad than vindictive & mean. His words are still unacceptable but is it really worth putting your whole life - and that of your family's household - into upheaval because he's having a temper tantrum? (Surely you've survived worse temper tantrums at home, or even here!)

If you decide that you will quit, I hope you'll have a plan in place -- networking, alternate income, a fall-back plan, savings to cover expenses & emergencies, etc.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:35 pm 
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I know I wasn't being very impeccable when I said I wasn't coming back. I've got a lot going on ATM and am over-sensitive to BS happening around here. I know I shouldn't allow it to affect me, working on me, but I did for a moment. Anyway I woke up this morning and said right Amanda, You need to work out what you're doing before you go into a meeting with him this morning.

I currently work in an environment where:

*The temperatures are cooking - up to 33 degrees some days

*As a result of that stock gets spoiled (imagine gooeey chocolate bars in these temps? :shock )

*As a result, imagine customers who complain about the heat in the shop;

*Customers who tell us "how hot it is in here" and "How can you work here?" and "it's not healthy."

*To the point where I want to have it tattooed on my forehead "Shut up already! I know it's hot in here!!!

*I work 2 shifts that are 12-13 hours long (standard shift is 8 hours in any other job) because nobody else will work them and he won't get more staff. He's always pressure existing staff to take up the slack.

*Every weekend the stock levels of cigarettes/tobacco are so low that every second customer, I'm telling "sorry we don't have it." Cringe! I put up with the abuse that sometimes ensues (like it's MY FAULT that he has no stock?)

*For a few weeks in a row now, there have been no $5.00 & $10.00 notes in change bag. I've had to go scrummaging around all the other businesses in the area to hunt down the needed $500 - 600 worth of change required for the weekend. One off is an over-sight, regularly, well it's reflecting poorly on him.

*For the past 2 months, he has paying us all cash. He used the excuse that it costs too much on bank fees? Whatever? It seems he has money problems, but it is true proud to admit that. I'm not sure if he's paying my tax?

*Last weekend I was left a note asking me to pay myself out of the till? WTF? Pay my own wages when we have a thief in our midst?

*Yes. We have a thief in our midst. (I am spending all day baby-sitting her - watching her) Money has been going missing on a Saturday for months. We know who it is (or at least we think we do) and every Saturday when I cash up, I'm in the horrible situation of finding $50 - $100 missing. There are no cameras recording or monitoring her.

*He can accuse me of ripping him off with my general managers qualification, but then in the next breath says "I know it's not you who is stealing money from me." Ok, either I'm trustworthy or I'm not, which is it?

*Which leads me to suspect that it is he himself who is ripping the till. (This is how much I trust him - I'm going to go early on Saturday and count both tills before I start, to make sure the float is right. He always cashes up the night before money goes missing!)

*Paranoia maybe - but he has a reason to set up the person who he is accusing of stealing. We had a police sting done us, where she was caught selling alcohol to a minor. He lost 7 days of business (selling liquour) as a result. He often moans that he should have fired her at that time, and how he regrets not having done so.

*I discovered that he pays the other duty manager far more than he pays me. Admittedly she's had her ticket longer than me, but she's worked for him the same amount of time as me. I'm not being paid extra for the increase in position. (claims he told me it would happen in April.) He thinks I'm an idiot and don't know that minimum wage is going up on 1st April, so any pay rise I get will be because of that!

*The "in-house" bitching, whining and carry on drives me crazy. I work with some pretty unhealthy (mentally unhealthy) people whose negativity & nonsense sometimes rubs off on me. (I bit like this place - LOL)

*I walk into work last night to be ignored by 3 who are present. I get the feeling that they are taking my "interview for another job" personally, as an abandonment/rejection of them. (oh diddums!)

*The idle threats made against my husband that were totally childish and uncalled for.

*The BS he told me that the opposition supermarket was for sale and he'd been offered it, and then the threat, then what would you do?

*Lack of security when opening/closing. I am there for periods of time, alone with no monitoring of the shop.

There are a lot of issues going on there and some of them are fixable, but most he's just not prepared to do anything about - the heat being a prime example. I've got a feeling that I'm copping all his dumped anger because of the manner in which the last duty manager left. It was quite nasty and unpleasant on both sides.

Anyway he wants me to come in today to discuss "conditions" in my current job. He asked me why was I so attracted to the other place? And I'm like thinking if he can't see that for himself, he must be blind. The environment is the exact opposite of his place.

There are many reason why I would like to get the heck out of there. The ones listed, alongside the innappropriate manner in which he spoke to me yesterday. However, as it has been pointed out to me, financially, having no job would put pressure on the family. Ok, it's only $300NZ a week, but it would definitely be missed (I mean my therapy costs $100 per week.)

My husband reminded me that If I stay in my current job, then I have my surgery and am in the cast and rehab for 6-8 weeks, if I am unable to work, then ACC will pay 80% of my income for that time period. If I leave, ACC will not cover my income (unless I'm employed elsewhere.)

I want to quit, that's what my gut says to do, but my practical side says "hang there" until I hear about the other job. I'm not going to make a rash decision until I know one way or another about the other job. I may still choose to leave my current job even if I don't get the new job. I don't have to make any decisions today though.

I'm going to go in and see him shortly. Wish me luck!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:37 pm 
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You have many very valid reasons for looking at the other job opportunity and you have every right to take another job offer without being threatened for leaving your current employment. I hope that you do get the job offer because it seems like it would solve all the problems you are having with your current supervisor and working conditions. It sounds like your boss does not want to lose you and that he will have a hard time finding a replacement but that is his problem and not yours.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:59 pm 
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Don't let yourself feel guilty for looking for another job...those are very bad work conditions!

Good luck finding a job, as you will most likely find something far better than what you are working now.

But do be careful you don't act impulsively. Much as your current job is a bad situation, if you need the money, you hafta try and hang on until you have something new confirmed. Good luck :)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:39 pm 
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No guilt. If I get offered the new job, I will take it. In the meantime, I'm sitting tight. I will continue to work where I'm at, until I go off on ACC after my op, and then I might just go looking for other suitable employment during that period (prepare to start after my wrist has healed) and resign from my current job. He didn't apologise for his threatening manner yesterday on the phone, but did say he was "reacting" not responding. The news of my having a job interview had shocked him.

I got a pay rise. He will make sure there is enough change for the weekend & stock. He won't do anything about the heat problem until before next summer (we're going into Autumn now and it's starting to cool off a little now.) He changed his mind and said he didn't think I'd ripped him off. I'm not to worry about the thief or take it on board when money goes missing. Man, he's one smooth character when he wants to be. I guess I'm just a little bit wary now.

Got everything crossed that I will get the other job:

A brand new air-conditioned supermarket (10 times the size of the current one), with an employment contract, weekly pay into an account, a job description (a clear one), security to lock up/open up, no counting of money, no worrying about thieves, no heat damaged stock or complaining customers. Couldn't be more different than where I'm currently at. He has to ask why I'd want to go work there?


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:40 pm 
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I've just been for a second interview with the owner of the supermarket where I am applying for the new job. SHould find out tomorrow whether I'm in or not. I'm feeling confident and positive about the way the interview went today, more so than I did after the initial one which was conducted by 2 of the other managers there. I guess it helps that I know the owner personally (she used to be my hairdresser - LOL. I live in a really small town) and our kids are around the same age, so we had personal things to talk about too, which kind of made it more relaxing.

It's good to feel confident about the way it went (she seemed not so concerned by my injured arm, as the other 2 did) but I guess I need to pull my head in and not build up my hopes too much. It's a joint decision between the 3 of them. I've already been sitting here getting myself in knots thinking about the childcare for my kids. If I get the job I will be doing 4 shifts from 2.30 -9.00, 2 of which will fall on weekdays, so I will need to arrange babysitting for my kids from 3.30 -5.30 until my H gets home from work. Jumping the gun, in preparation. So, it's time to pull my head back in and leave any arrangements required to if/when the time comes.

I'm also feeling slightly nervous about resigning from the other place (if I get the job.) I don't expect it to go down too well, which is kind of sad really, because my moving on is really about positive growth for me and I think it is selfish to begrudge anybody that.

I'm also feeling proud of myself because when I think back to where I was at 18 months ago or so, I was still hiding out at home, too afraid to go anywhere, let alone work, and here I am today a qualified duty/general manager, coping with it tremendously in spite of all the aggravations in my current job. Keeping everything crossed and making a note to self: Amanda - Stop stressing about what may or may not be until it arises. Easier said than done though eh?


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:49 pm 
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:luck Sending great mojo to NZ for ya! Did she give you any idea of when they might have their final decision? Did she tell you how many others were in the final round for which you just interviewed?

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:13 pm 
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I was told that there were 4 people being considered for the job. She also told me that she is considering hiring 2 people to make the current rosters a little easier, and to allow more flexibility and back up for sickness and holidays. They currently operate from 7am - 9pm, 7 days per week, so there are a lot of hours to cover (there must be a duty manager on site, at all times.) Job share is an option and I expressed in interest in that, mainly because of my family committments. Being a mother of 2 herself and having her husband die just recently, she was quite understanding about this. I was told that If I get the job, one of my new duties would be to prepare the rosters for the duty/general managers. I would be taking over the position of one of the senior duty managers who is leaving to take care of her sick father. She expects to have made her final decision by the end of the week. It's Thursday today, so hopefully I will know in a day or so.


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:55 pm 
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:elephant :calvin :hobbes :hyper :clap :cheers I got the job!!! yahoooooooooo!


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:06 am 
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That's absolutely fantastic! Well done! I'm really pleased for you. :D How soon do you start?

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:08 am 
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Yay!!!! I was going to write a response about your (ex) boss but now I don't have to! I am sooo happy for you! You must be so relieved! That is absolutely fabulous! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

:biggrin :biggrin :biggrin :biggrin :biggrin


:woohoo

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:43 am 
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Fabulous news! And look at that, only about three hours between your posts - from "if I get it" to "I got it" - is great!

Will they be hiring the two or just yourself? When do you start? How will you give notice to your current employer? What about those child-care concerns you had - made an progress toward resolution on those? (I'm guessing it's the middle of the night for you now which seems like the "I got it" post might have been day/evening yesterday for you so I'm just curious what (if any) progress you've made toward resolving those initial concerns you had.)

I'm very glad for you that you're pursuing something that will improve your life - better working conditions - and not living in fear of the possible snit-fit from the petulant current boss when you tell him you're moving on.

Just remember: he told you all along that he'd jump at the chance if something better came along for him! You're just doing what you were taught by him.
;)

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:14 am 
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Amanda, don't let your current boss upset you. It's your right to take care of yourself and do what you need to do. You don't owe him anything (at least that's my perception). I've left dozens of jobs where they "cried" when I was leaving. You know what? They get over it. He will too. He's just throwing a hissy-fit right now. That's his problem. You have a better and brighter future ahead of you - don't let this asshole throw cold water on you!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:14 pm 
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Ash wrote:
Will they be hiring the two or just yourself? When do you start? How will you give notice to your current employer? What about those child-care concerns you had - made an progress toward resolution on those? (I'm guessing it's the middle of the night for you now which seems like the "I got it" post might have been day/evening yesterday for you so I'm just curious what (if any) progress you've made toward resolving those initial concerns you had.)


I was just so thrilled when I got the call, I didn't really talk details with her. I let her know that I'd be available to start on the 21st April. I'm making arrangements to meet up to fill in the contract and talk through the details on Monday.

I am resigning from the old job on the 18th April and then my husband & I are going away for a luxury weekend break (courtesy of his employers) A lovely estate, lodge, Vineyards, golf course, and bliss! Quality time with my husband with no kids! For those of you who are interested:
http://carrington.co.nz/carrington-lodge.php
http://www.karikariestate.co.nz/
http://carrington.co.nz/carrington-golf-course.php

I have just gotten back from meeting with my boss. I handed him my resignation letter in person and waited for the reaction. The reaction I expected, didn't come. He was calm and asking me if I could assist him to find and train a replacement over the next fortnight.

One of my co-workers was thrilled for me and the other was being very nasty and cynical and I guess she's taken it personally and is afraid that she'll not get her month holiday to Singapore that she has been promised. I honestly don't see it as a threat. My boss can be a jerk but he wouldn't stop her going home for her daughters wedding. She seems to have this idea that I am giving away a good job and going into something crap. I'm not sure how her faulty logic works, but anyway. You can't please all of the people, all of the time.

I'm feeling good. I fell off the wagon and started smoking again on Sunday (5 days ago) but, today I've walked straight into my Dr's office and spoke with the smoking cessation nurse. Told her I was addicted again, in only 5 short days but, knew it was not a good way to cope with stress and bad feelings and that I didn't want to go down the track again. So, I am starting back up on low dose nicotine replacement patches and gum for a month just to hopefully get me through the transition from my old job into the new. I think a combo of too many life-stressors at the moment pushed me over the edge and smoking, although it calms me and makes me feel better, it is only really shoving down (or sucking up) the problem.

So, I once again, have another positive interaction and learning experience to add to my library. Sometimes facing the things that scare me, over-riding the terror inside and presenting myself with the positive, confident face is good for me. I never really appreacited the concept of "fake it until you make it", until today.

I wrote a lovely resignation letter focusing on all the positive things that have come from my employment and I'm feeling mighty proud of myself right now, and specifically to you, Ash, I wanted to say that I am very grateful to you for all the support and advice you've given me with this - The talks about hanging on to the old job, even though it was bad, the not rushing in to quit in an angry fashion. Just knowing and even feeling that you "got me on how bad it was" and were backing me all the way. It has really been a big help for me.

And to everybody else who sent me kind wishes and offered me advice - thanks. You guys are great!


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:34 pm 
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AS for the childcare situation, well my dear friend who babysits for me occassionally is willing to help me out for a while. She's an older lady in her 60's and has raised 6 kids of her own. She's trying to sell her home at the moment and will be moving into town (40 minutes away) at some stage in the coming months, so she said I can lean on her for now, whilst I try to come up with an alternative. Ideally I need somebody with a drivers licence who can take the kids to their various after-school sporting activities. My son plays golf and soccer. My yougest D plays netball and does gymnastics and my eldest D is involved in kapa Haka (maori dance and singing), youth group and netball. There is not immediate panic as I first suspected. I'm sure things will fall into place.


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:22 pm 
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(((Amanda)))

I am SO happy that you got the new job! It sounds wonderful, and I am proud of you!!


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:56 am 
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This sounds like such a great new beginning for you! I am so happy for you that I am speechless. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:48 pm 
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I've had a chaotic time the past few days. Working out my notice in the old job (I did my last Sunday - a 13 hour shift yesterday - Yay), whilst having also having done 19 hours (3 nights) of training in my new job. It's been a bit stressful (so much busier and so much to learn) but in a different way from the stress in my current job. I've relaxed more and more with each shift and I already know that I'm going to really enjoy working there. I've got 2 more training nights this week and then the following week, I officially start. I have got one more 3.5 shift left at my old job on Wednesday. My boss is being a moron as I expected. Bitching and saying stuff behind my back to other staff members. I guess I should really see it as a compliment: He told one staff member that they only hired me at the new place so that his business would shut down. All in all I am handling the stress of change reasonably well.


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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:28 am 
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Amanda wrote:
My boss is being a moron as I expected. ... I guess I should really see it as a compliment: He told one staff member that they only hired me at the new place so that his business would shut down.

Yeah, I'd say that's absolutely right on both counts - it's a compliment that he thinks his business will shut down without you and it totally proves what a moron he is! *snort*

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 4:26 am 
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Ah, so you're good enough that your absence will shut down his business, but not good enough that the other company might actually want you on your own merits? ;) It cracks me up when people come out with crap like that, but I know it's not always so funny when you're on the receiving end of the abuse. I hope your last shift isn't too painful tomorrow! The new job sounds great and it sounds as though you're handling it all really well. :thumbsup

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 Post subject: Re: My Boss & work
PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 6:00 pm
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Thanks Ash & Echoes (I like your username BTW.) I have my last shift this afternoon. I expect it to be a quiet low-key affair. No cards, no farewells. Hand my keys in the next day & lets pretend I never existed! Sounds like the way I myself might have acted a few years ago - LOL.

The best news, I am currently being paid the same hourly rate at my new job, whilst I train, but when I officially start next week, I will get an extra $ per hour. I mainly moved for environmental reasons but, the pay increase just makes it all the sweeter!


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